sebetulnya...detik itu

bila timbul persoalan persoalan bingung, hampir tak berjawapan

saat itu...rasa sayang hampir kabur, rabun

harapan indah hampir terkubur

semangat hampir lebur

jelas bertikam lagi...dua kutub magnet berlainan bergeseran, memercikkan api kemarahan

egois jelas, sedangkan sebenarnya saling bertautan, melengkapkan...

kemudian diam, senyap dalam kekalahan...penyesalan...

sebetulnya...detik itu

aku harap aku jadi air yang memadam, melumpuhkan marak api yang akan mengabukan sekam.

aku harap aku jadi ais yang menyejukkan, menyuamkan gelegak air yang akan melepuhkan.

s.o.m.e.d.a.y

someday...this tears will stop running
someday...the darkness in front of me will dissipate
the warmth of the sun shall dry my tears...

facing my tired appearance...little by little
i'm getting tired as well
want to give it all up...all the hard things
these dreams of mine all this while
compared to what i have...what i am lacking is more
everytime i think of this...both my legs lose strength
and i give up halfway...

someday...this tears will stop running
someday...this darkness in front of me will dissipate
the warmth of the sun shall dry my tears...

"it's okay"...i comfort myself like this...

i persevered like this everyday and little by little i became timid
while telling myself to believe in me
i've become unable to believe in myself
right now...how much longer
i'm able to hold out, i can't tell...

as long as i patiently wait
someday...it will come
like no matter how long the nights...the sun always rises
my aching heart...will also someday heal...

right now...help me God...please help me
i was alone...and i was still able to fight it
little by little i lost my faith...

Sembunyi sorok di ruang berdinding legap, bertembok tinggi, dakap lutut. Antara nampak ada dan tidak ada. Dikeliling manusia-manusia hipokrit dan obses duniawi. Dia sebenarnya sedang merayu minta nyawa, nak hidupkan kembali hati mati, perasaan dan semangatnya. Rugi, mereka tuli.





( sebenarnya aku simpati.....betul simpati.....)

disappeared..

"the little mermaid's hand holding a knife was shaking. But next, she throw the knife into the waves.
 The little mermaid 's sight of the prince faded and she threw her body into the ocean. And then
 the little mermaid turned into bubbles and disappeared..."

"turned into bubbles and disappeared"
.................................................................

disappeared.........

C.A.N.T.I.K

Dia kata
semua CANTIK
seolah angkuh dia yakin
cumanya
mungkin ada yang lebih mungkin ada yang kurang.
dalam zuhud menutur
lalu berdiri pandang cermin uzur
senyum
raba wajah tua
jelas dia terheret
hanyut merangkak zaman sebelum usianya.

aku duduk berteleku
mengangguk dan mengia
perlahan
takut jiwa usangnya luka.

' hati ' dan hati

duhai 'hati'...

dengar...pasang telingamu...

kisah dulu...sekuman pun tak mengekang...

cumanya...

tersekat disini...gelap dan legap...sesak bernafas..

seperti tertewas...

rebah dan lemah...rapuh hati...lelahnya...

sedangkan saat ini...

terketar tangan nak kucantum hati sendiri...

11march2012, 0250am